An encounter with our handyman this week caused me to reassess the value of the English language in my life. I don't know, maybe it's because I got my undergrad degree in Linguistics or perhaps I'm just an English Language Nazi...you can decide, but I value the English language. My question here is, why doesn't everyone else? I mean honestly...where do some people come up with these grammatical putrefactions?
Okay. Let me first explain the encounter that sparked this tirade. It started several weeks ago when I first tried to get our handyman to come and fix my dripping bathroom sink. When he came to take a look at it, he said, "Yeah...that thar needs a new spicket. I'ma hafta run overta hardware store an' pick uppa new one." No, I'm not kidding. Now, I know that Virginia is considered (by some) to be in the South, but in what dialect does a 'g' become a 'k' and why? Vowel sound changes I can understand (mostly) and even enjoy (ah, Wisconsin!) Now this was just a one-time encounter, so I wondered if perhaps I'd heard him wrong. Well, over the course of the next few weeks, through phone calls and his final visit, I learned that the word "spicket" was a hard and fast part of this gentleman's vocabulary. I swear each time he said it, I gave myself a headache from clenching my teeth as hard as I could to keep from screaming, "SPIGOT!! The word is spiGot! With a 'G', you idiot! Or better yet, why not skip that word altogether and just call it a dang FAUCET!?!?!!!" ...deep breath...count to ten...ahhhh. I've found my happy place.
So anyway, in addition to the other embolism-producing mispronunciations that I've heard in my life, this caused me to start pondering regional accents and the strange sounds they encourage. What I've come to conclude is this...if it's a mere matter of regional accent causing the word to sound different to me, I am generally just amused (or bemused) instead of distressed. In fact, I may enjoy trying to learn how to approximate said pronunciation, because I think it's fun. (I did, in fact take a stage dialects class once...SO much fun!) However, when a person deliberately abuses the English language by using an entirely fabricated word...well, this I cannot abide. And when I say they do it deliberately...I mean it. They are deliberately trying to cause permanent damage to my delicate ears. I just know they are.
Anyway, here's a short list of both mispronunciations and accent changes that I've heard over the years. It's not very extensive, because I was drawing a serious blank as I wrote this. See if you can place them (answer key below)...
- Supposably (supposedly)
- Suh-um (something)
- warsh (wash)
- ward/warm (pronounced like the words 'hard' or 'arm')
- ungyun (onion - this is one my mom has heard several times)
- flag/bag (same 'a' sound as in 'age' or 'wage', sometimes as in 'egg' or 'beg')
- ahnry (ornery - while 'awr-nuh-ree' is an accepted pronunciation, as is 'or-nuh-ree', it's rarely ever pronounced either way. YARRRGH!!!)
- spicket (spigot...I think I've said enough here)
So what are some of your mis-pronunciation or accent-related pet peeves? Do you have an accent? Take this little quiz to find out.
Here are my results.
| What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta. | |
| The Midland | |
| Boston | |
| North Central | |
| The Inland North | |
| Philadelphia | |
| The South | |
| The Northeast | |
| What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | |
Answer key: 1. I'm not sure...anywhere, really, but I heard it most in Utah. 2. Utah 3. Oddly, I heard this in Wisconsin, but I think it appears in some of the south and North-East. 4. Utah/Idaho 5. Utah 6. Wisconsin (Midwest) 7. West 8. Virginia (oh I do hope this is the only place!!)
26 comments:
I just barely found out myself the phrase is apparently "for all intents and purposes" instead of "for all intensive purposes." Wow, I had no idea. Call me the dunce!
My one grammar irk is when people use the whole "Billy and I" or "Billy and me" incorrectly, such as "thank you so much for coming to visit Billy and I!" or "Billy and me are going to France..." bless their souls for knowing to put dear Billy first, but it's the pronoun afterwards that kills me.
I am proud to be the lowest common denominator! I, too, scored as a member of the "accentless" west (another made up word . . . sorry if that's offensive:) And I have to say for an English teacher, I have very few accent-related pet peeves. I think they're kind of charming actually. (I personally feel that the world would be a much better place if we all spoke with British accents.) But I do struggle with people needlessly saying words incorrectly without the excuse of an accent. My number one most annoying example being . . . irregardless! Eeeew! Such a redundant and unnecessary abuse of a prefix. I once heard Steven Spielberg use it during an interview and I've never quite seen him the same way since.
Okay, so if you want to here my favorite accent, here's a link for you. So random:) Long live Newfoundland!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g6qcZ9bhOI
i used to have this friend whose mom used to always say "poim" instead of "poem." seriously. it bothered me SO MUCH.
what about "crown" instead of "crayon." ugh.
or "pellow" or "melk" rather than "pillow" or "milk."
i, like you, am extremely sensitive to mispronunciations (like when people say "pronounciation" rather than "pronuncation"). glad you live just across the wall from me. my moral support.
or rather "you're" not "your"
sorry. ;-)
AK - Ha! I keep learning things like that...to my embarrassment, of course. Here are a few examples: the correct phrase is cardsharp,not card shark, pernickety,not persnickety, spit and image, not spitting image. http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/mispron.html#library
Check out this website for more common mispronunciations
Re: the pronoun debacle, I agree that some people try too hard to sound intelligent and often end up sounding like idiots.
Becks - Isn't it odd to say that we have "no accent"? We definitely have our moments, though. I frequently still call drinking fountains "bubblers". Can't fully get rid of home ya know?
Oh, I can't STAND 'irregardless'!! That one makes me want to kick someone!
UPC - Way to keep WI alive! I am most impressed! Just think, not only would our language not be the same w/out the Germans...our particular accents would also not be as gloriously nasal or vowelly challenged either.
Amber - loved your blog. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (says Anne :)). Those are all great ones! I remember being so frustrated when I first moved out West because everyone insisted that I came from a place called Wesconsin...a place, I must admit that I've never been. And girl, I'm there for your grammatical support anytime you need me!
JR - ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE!!
Okay, so I heard a few more that just had my rolling today! In a training class, I heard these beauties..."amblance" (ambulance), "acrossed" (yech!), and everybody's favorite "anyways". YAAARGH!!
Check out this site for more on the argument overall. http://www.pbs.org/speak/words/
You know which word pronounciation just kills me? The American way of saying "badminton." They always say "bad-mitton." There's an "N" there, people!!! Hearing the word badminton butchered so badly is pretty much the only time I turn into a seriously militant Canadian.
But yeah, "irregardless" makes me mad too.
Oh, here's a Mormon-related one: when people say "return missionary" instead of "returnED missionary." Drives me batty.
michelle - oh seriously, it makes them sound like post office rejects. I've got a new batch of Return Missionaries, poor things. Seems nobody wanted them after all!
Re: badminton...as long as I remember not to watch the badminton worldcup with you, I think I can avoid the militant Canadian. :)
I got Midland, yo. And I'm totally from the West! I'm not too insulted, though, because the nice test results told me that I have a good voice for TV and radio. I'm flattered.
Ec cetera.... no such phrase exists in Latin or English. However, I will accept et cetera. And while we're at it, I'll accept this abbreviation--etc.--rather than this one: ect. Come on!
Oh, and I knew a guy who said "oinge" instead of "orange."
I tried the test a couple times and it kept saying I was from Wisconsin! Weirdest thing ever, since I lived my entire life in the Pacific Northwest. My only explanation is that my grandfather was from Wisconsin. Can it carry over two generations? I think the test is broken. Oh, and some made-up words to add to the annoying column:
ekspecially
celestrial
acrosst
heighth (from Sara)
fornification (from Michelle)
Well there's always the common phrase of "all of a sudden" or is it "all of THE sudden?" Or the lovely way of pronouncing it that cracks me up every time "Allda sudden"
I forgot to mention some very glaring examples:
Pronouncing Gillins as "Gillians" or "Gillin," or the most egregious mispronunciation: Jillins.
So, so wrong
Cabeza: Oinge? Seriously? That's one I definitely haven't run into. Weird. Oh, and I'll be listening for your voice on the radio, Mr. Jillins...uh, I mean Gillian...oh crap! Honestly, are people just too lazy to actually read your name? That is unforgiveable. The only one I could possibly understand, although you named it as the most egregious mispronunciation, is Jillins. I mean, the English language is messed up, so how is one to know if it's a 'g' or a 'j' sound just by reading it?
Andrea: Wisconsin roots run long and deep. Once it's in your blood, you never get rid of it. Muwahahaha! Uh, I mean...
Oh, I'm SO glad you put in some of those other examples! There are so many gospel mispronunciations, but I couldn't think of any while I was writing the entry. Celestrial and fornification - HA! Classic!
Heather S - Ooo, you have a new initial! Yahoo! I love the "Alldasudden" example! I would guess that you hear a lot of really awesome mispronunciations living deeper in the south. I'll laugh when you start picking up the accent! It's unavoidable now...you're in the south and you married a real, live southerner. You're doomed! :)
What do fish breathe through? How many people mispronounce that?
Wha--? What do they say? "Dat dare feesh done have jills"--?
As for "card shark," "persnickety," and "spitting image"--wow. I would be surprised, however, if both versions weren't in the OED!
This post has been fun to read, but I have to admit, I'm more likely to mispronounce things than not. (I do say "ahnry" after all; my grandma says "warsh"; my dad says "Tuesdee"; and I cannot, for the life of me, pronounce "worcestershire sauce"). I like to say that English spoken and English written are two different dialects, and I am much more fluent in the written one.
Having said that, here are some goodies that I picked up, all in a written context:
"seem less" for "seamless"
"migitate" for "mitigate" (migitate is when a midget levitates)
...and AK already mentioned the "intensive purposes" one
"alot" for "a lot"
"mute" for "moot"
using a comma to denote plurality, e.g., "the 80's"
"Old Timer's" for "Alzheimer's"
I also love it when people just make up a word--kaboom!--for something, and then it quickly goes in to common usage within a certain group without ever consulting the dictionary (I guess I just defined "jargon," huh?).
Here's one of those:
"prepend" meaning, of course, to "attach to the front" (courtesy of some darling programmers I used to work with)
I'd bet LDS culture is just bursting with these, but I can't think of anything better than "free agency."
Sorry this went so long--should have just made a post out of it on my blog!
Miss you, christina!
Oh, and cabeza?
I confess, I would have pronounced it Jillins. (But hey, you should see what people do to "wynne" sometime, especially paired with my last name. *sigh*)
What's your last name?
Dee?
DeMille?
Dixie?
Dow?
Dsock?
Somelosesome?
Ertakesall?
Okay, I'm done now.
Fishes breathe through gills with a hard "g." Gillins like to salute the evolutionary feat of the fish by pronouncing our name the same way. Unless you're from Minersville, Utah. Then you pronounce it wrong.
I'm sure you could've kept going, Jill (you mind if I call you Jill?--of course you don't. After all, in a language where "Jeff" can be spelled "Geoff," what do you expect? People will always slaughter your name.) My name does inspire mockery.
For your entertainment, my last name is "urien." Give it your best shot. (My favorite mispronunciation of first and last together: "weenie urine." Ouch. And the person had no idea what she had just said.)
Alright, you two...to your corners! Actually, I'm inclined to just let you go at it and keep reading, but for some strange reason I feel a sort of obligation to step in and say, "Keep it civil." (You have, by the way, but just in case anyone was winding up for a blow below the belt...don't.)
Okay. That having been said, carry on! Funny how this has turned into the butchering of not just the English language but of our names. Maybe I should post on that. Ok. I will.
I will admit to an certain degree of frustration by grammatical errors of the spoken and written variety. I have "learnt" to curb my tongue and not correct everyone as they speak, but I am pretty consistent with correcting written errors.
(And here I must admit to serious faults of my own...I do overuse, misuse, abuse comma's' and apostraphes.)
But I cannot abide your for you're, there for their or they're and those excess spaces that crop up in some peoples typing.
As I think about this I find I do correct speech by just saying the word pronounced correctly, without addressing the need for my insertion into their comment.
Some of the abuse I endure:
My father-in-law is from Tennesee and has since erased his "accent" but he ALWAYS says, "I bought it" instead of "I bRought it" frankly it drives me cRazy!
I work with a woman that says "ornch" for orange (she also says "warsh")
Another girl I work with constantly says "You welcome" --insane a whole word just gone! Not even a contraction...
On to the painful, or is it just pitiful, topic of name mispronunciation and shall we include misspellings?
I will admit I myself did not always correct others on how to say my name
I mean my dad doesn't always pronounce it correctly)
I was not diligent until my cousin and I lived on the same floor of the dorms as freshmen and SHE corrected everyone.
It is a bit lame when people misspell your name in your own yearbook! (By the way my name is Adrianne "Adri-Anne")
Ah, this was a refreshing vent...
Blue - Aren't blogs wonderful for venting? When are you gonna start your very own? Or perhaps you could just be a more frequent visitor? Come on!! You know you want to! :) Love you, Aids! (Bwa-ha-ha! Do random nick-names fall into mispronunciations?)
I'm loving all this commentary! I'm an English major too, with an English Language Nazi as a mother. One of my pet peeves in the LDS vocabulary is when people add an extra syllable to "patriarchal blessing" and say "patriartichal." Similar is saying something other than "paradisiacal" glory in the 10th AofF. And why do people say "take out my endowments"? Isn't the correct phrase "receive my endowment" (singular)? Sorry if this is crossing the line in what should or shouldn't be discussed.
Wynne - I'll have to get on your blog and check it out. I feel your pain of having a weird last name. . .my last name is pronounced "Funki" about 75% of the time. But I get people back who ask me to spell it by quickly responding, "F-U...N-A-K-I."
Okay, I'm done, but I just thought of another one that I've actually seen in print: "beckoned call." Apparently the editor didn't know it's really "beck and call." But what am I talking about? I screw things up like that all the time!
funfam - Welcome! And I mess those things up all the time too, but really? If you're going to publish something, shouldn't it really be proofread first? I mean, honestly..."beckoned call"? Please.
Webster's Guide to Pronunciation, which rejects many alternative pronunications such as POHM for poem, accepts SPIK-ut as a valid pronunciation for spigot and even lists it first.
Post a Comment