Where on earth has Christina been? The world has been asking and Christina has decided to finally crawl out of her hole of laziness to respond. ("Hey, it's my vacation, people! Doesn't that mean vegging?") Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I know this kind of absence is just plain unfair to all my fans. (cough!)
I've been suffering from a lack of inspiration lately (and extreme laziness brought about by the effects of summer). I've actually had a post "in the works" for some time now....so I guess I'll just finish that one off and post it. Be forewarned...I began this right after a long trip and I wasn't in a very "pro-airport" mood. And here it is...
Okay, so I recently decided that I hate airports! I love traveling, but I HATE airports! Summer is a big time for travel, right? That's fine, I always plan for delays and what-not, but what I don't understand is being told that domestic travelers must be at the airport TWO hours before a flight departs. Which means, if you're planning for the added hassles of heavy travel traffic, you should likely tack on another 30-45 minutes, just to be safe! RIDICULOUS!! And okay, while I may think the measures which our airports have been taking to ensure our safety are a bit much, I'm all for safety. Okay fine. What I don't understand are those travelers who still act like they don't expect to have to take off their shoes, belts and excessive jewelry, remove their laptop from their bag and make sure their small gel or liquid items fit in one plastic baggy. This is not that difficult, people! You're in line for like an HOUR! Why couldn't you have figured all this out before you got to the metal detectors? AAARRRGGGHH!!
But, in all fairness, this isn't even my biggest annoyance. No, I've actually taken the next step and decided that I hate flying. I'm not phobic. I don't mind the actual flying. That's just fine and dandy. What I DO mind is the lack of leg room in the seating area, the difficulty it is to climb across the other passengers to get to the bathroom (that is, if you're lucky enough to have a window seat...or even cursed w/ a middle seat), the discomfort you may decide is necessary to avoid having to climb over others, the bathrooms themselves. Ugh! What else do I hate? Passengers who seem to forget that we are all sharing the same air space. I recently flew from one end of the country to the other and I realize that that's a looong flight, but why do I have to get stuck behind the guy who decided to share his "travel gas" with his fellow passengers every few minutes? Honestly, people. I almost found myself wishing for a massive change in cabin pressure, just so I could use the air mask! Have mercy!! And hey, here's another one...if you're afraid that your feet may stink...do everyone a courtesy and leave the shoes ON!
So...that was a lot of pent up negativity, wasn't it? Okay, I'll end on a positive note. Several months ago, I was stuck at the international arrival gate in the Dulles airport, waiting to meet a foreign visitor from Japan, and to pass the time to and keep from cursing my lot I decided to indulge in a little people-watching. While I did see my fair share of people I wouldn't wish to meet on a dark street, I was actually surprised with the intimate look I had into people's reunions! I felt a bit like a voyeur, but since it was in public (and I was waiting there FOREVER), I just gave in to the unabashed (if slightly glazed) gazing. It was truly touching to witness the tenderness that some people shared with their loved ones upon reuniting. Some of my favorite sights...
- countless hugs and kisses of every, shape, flavor and intention
- servicemen and women being greeted with applause and looks of admiration and gratitude
- this interchange: Dad picks up son (approx. 6-8 yrs. old) and hugs him fiercely saying, "You got bigger! Two weeks is too long!" Son: "Yeah. It's way too long. Don't go away again, k?" (awwww!)
So, I know I ended on a positive note here, but anybody got a good horror story from the airport that they want to share? I know I'm not the only one whey gripes about this stuff! You can share a tender one too, if you want. Come on...this is universal.
19 comments:
Every time I go, I always get pegged for the last spot-check before you get on the plane. Yeah, I'd be more than happy to take off my shoes...again.
I just don't like all the waiting. As for sharing other people's air space--well, these days, since I've got a toddler, I'm the one people will be complaining about. Oh well.
So there's all sorts of horror stories I could share about airports (my favorite being tagged to do a special 'photo' check at the Heathrow... standing in the weird, awkward positions I turned around to find that everyone else waiting in line was a young female as well... hmmm... and yes, the Heathrow Airport was the scariest one I've ever been in. The crowds were literally overwhelming) but watching that little Love Actually ditty brought tears to my eyes and yeah. Airports are the best places to watch reunions.
Nothing major to complain about here. I did have a heck of a time flying back from Honolulu last year, but I really can't complain because, hey, I had just spent the week in Hawaii. I may have been stuck on a Marine Corps base for most of the week, but it was Hawaii nonetheless.
But I do share the usual gripes with you, plus I'll add a positive bit of my own: While it's still no Vermilion, airport food has vastly improved over the last five or six years. Much more selection and much less indigestion, I'd say.
Uh. WHAT airport food? Oh. AirPORT. Not airplane. My bad.
I think my dislike for airports can be boiled down to a passionate hatred of large groups of people. I hate large groups because of the ultimate certainty of me running into the biggest imbecile there.
Like the time I was in the Heathrow airport and there was a mom and her 10 year old in front of me. He was playing with the vinyl strappy thing that they use to form the lines. You know the thing? So this kid and his mom are at the front and he stretches out the vinyl rope and blocks the front of the line, so the attendant escorts someone else to the next available customs agent because she didn't really see what was going on.
So his mom gets all pissed and corrects the situation. Meanwhile I am steaming in a white hot pool of my own fury when this kid starts to do it again. The mother lets out an exasperated sigh and I couldn't hold back. I looked him directly in his beady little eyes and said, "Don't do that again."
He then turns to his mom and asks, "Do you know him?" She says no and he asks incredulously if she's going to let me speak to him like that and her curt reply, "Yes, I rather like him" sent pulsating waves of justification to the very center of me making the whole 4 minutes extra worth it.
Unpro, that may be the best airport story I have ever heard. Cheers.
UPC - Wow. Nicely handled! I would have been afraid of my response to the little snot...like pulling back the strappy-thingy just to let it whip back into his face. (Ooo. It's sometimes my reactions such as this one that make me afraid to ever be a mother.)
Wynne - I forgive you AND Jake. Besides Jake's too cute to be annoyed with. :) And I hear you on the last minute "frisk"! On my last trip to Europe, it was always me (not my two friends) who got stopped and searched AGAIN after already making it through the security line...do I look like a terrorist?
AK - Suspicious about the line of women behind you to waiting to be "checked". What's even more unnerving is when the person doing the "checking" is also female. Sorry. 'Nuff said.
Cabeza - Airport food is good...a little TOO good, if you ask me. It sets a horrible precedent for the rest of the trip..."Hey, I'm on vacation! I can eat whatever the crap I want!" Thank goodness they don't have Cinnabon in the airport...I'd be a total goner!
Or maybe that's where your friendly flight neighbors get their gas... from the REALLY GOOD airport food.
On the trip back from Jill W's wedding in FL we had a lovely man sit behind us who decided to take his shoes off and socks and rest them or should I say SHOVE them between mine and my fellow passenger's seats. It was to the point where I was just about to ask the flight attendant to ask him to put them back on or something.
I TOO HATE having to get up and go to the bathroom- because my husband is afraid of flying, he usually gets the window seat which means that I get the middle. I'm just saying...
oh and thanks for writing again!
Christina, I totally agree with about people not being ready for the security check. I don't like having to take off my shoes or get out my laptop either, but it's even more annoying when people delay it even more by acting like they've never heard about it before. Ahhhh!
Airport "issues" tend to multiply, or try "problems" to the 12th power, when you travel in large groups! With all the traveling I've done, I've never had a major issue with airports, or maybe I should say airlines, until now. My problem-free travel streak has officially ended:( Last week, I spent a gloriously relaxing weekend in Hawaii with my family. But we rushed to the airport to catch our flight home only to find that our flight had been delayed 2 hours. Now I know this isn't a big deal, but we were traveling with 12 people and we were going to miss our connecting flight from L.A. to San Jose. Still not a big deal until they told us that EVERY FLIGHT on American Airlines from L.A. to San Jose was completely booked and that they wouldn't be able to get us home. And their blas'e response was "Sorry, but their's nothing we can do." Well, I'm sorry, but it's your job. Well, we were so exasperated that we decided to just fly to LA and figure something out from there. After our six hour red-eye flight, we wearily entered the American Airlines customer service office only to be greeted by a shrill voice yelling, "Why are you all in here?!!! What do you want?!!!" I'm not even exaggerating. To his credit, my dad remained cool and calm, a true test of his sometimes volatile temper:) We watched in amazement as the the American Airlines employee engaged in a yelling match with the guy in front of us in line. She then walked out of the room in a huff and didn't return for fifteen minutes with no explanation. Lucky for us, another employee walked in. She booked us a flight on another airline (after 45 minutes). She told us our flights had been reserved and that we just needed to get to the gate. Well, we only had half an hour, so we raced over to the security check only to discover that our "boarding passes" weren't boarding passes at all. We had to go to the Delta counter, who thankfully let us go to the front of the line. But we soon found out that no flight had been reserved for us. Fortunately, Delta was able to get us seats on the flight. So anyway, we made our flight and arrived in San Jose just fine. But the story is not over, folks. Because we had changed airlines, our luggage didn't make it on to our flight. We assumed that our luggage would be delivered to our house, a standard procedure for any airline. Well, not for American apparently. They refused to take responsibility for our luggage and turned it over to Delta, who hadn't even transported the luggage. After my dad spent several hours on the phone, he finally figured out who had the luggage and had to drive 3 hours back to San Jose to pick it up.
Trust me, I don't rant very often. So if I'm ranting, it was pretty bad. Who will stand with me and solemnly vow never to patronize the devil of the skies, American Airlines?
Wow, You nailed it right on Doctor Bishop!! I have been pretty much living at airports it feels like for the whole month of July!! I am so tired of it!! My biggest complaint is...I get stopped EVERY TIME!!! Do I look like a terrorist or something? I always get stopped to have them go through my bag. They unpack everything and leave me there to put it all back! Worst experience was coming back from Germany. Another common one is I never put my middle name on my ticket, i forget to, so when I show them my I.D. they question me for long periods of time on who I REALLY am. HELLO, look at my PICTURE!! then look at me. I think I look like the same person! But what do I know. But recently I recieved a ticket as a birthday present and the people spelled my first name wrong. yeah, that was just as bad. they questioned my then too. But I sat next to a guy on the way to ATL just a couple of weeks ago, who took off his shoes and socks and pretty much propped them up on my knee. they smelled so bad, and they were all dry and cracking all over!! YUCK! then this lady wants me to trade her seats. I had an isle seat she had a middle seat a row ahead of me just so that she could sit with her other 2 daughters. I was a little annoyed about that. you will see them in a hour and a half when you get off the plane. but I somewhat kindly did it. I don't think that's right. Anyway, great post. you expressed everything that I've been feeling these past several weeks. Oh,and thanks for letting me vent on your blog. I feel much better. You're so great Doctor Bishop!
Heather - Okay, seriously! What IS it with people who treat airplanes like their own personal living rooms? Don't take off your shoes, don't pass gas in my face and don't prop your feet up on me or my chair! How hard is it to remember those simple rule?! Gaaaahhhh!!!
Becky - Oh my gosh! That is seriously out of control! I actually just heard a story on NPR about (I forget what airline, but I want to say Delta) an airline that was having to cancel flights unexpectedly because pilots were just not showing up for their flights. Like a "sick out" or something? Anyway, that's NO excuse for that kind of lameness!
Emilio!! Hi! And to answer your question...no, you don't look like a terrorist. Uh...not even close. Glad I could provide a spot for so many people to vent their feelings. I knew I wasn't alone on this!
Christina!!! Welcome back, dear friend. How am I suppose to know what's going on in your life when I am sequestered so far away, and you don't update your blog? (Indignant huff.)
I am the first one to advocate slip off shoes. Seriously, during the summer months that should be easy. Flip-flops, anyone? I, for one, love being singled out... There was one trip to NYC. That of the four legs, I was selected at all four legs for the "random search". "Excuse miss, can you step aside, you have been RANDOMLY selected for our pre-flight check. I blame my ethnic surname. That trip was especially humorous, being patted down four times, while I was wearing a pocketless outfit with flip flops. The "slim-fitting" capris should have made it obvious that I was not concealing any weapons. I couldn't have concealed a nail clipper if I wanted to. Darn, pocketless fashion fads! Men don't have to suffer the indignities of pocketless pants and traction-less shoes. (Err, that's a grip for another blog entry).
UPC--LOVE THE STORY!
Btw, Loved the "Love Actually" clip.
I once showed up to the airport 24 hours late, but I guess that was my fault.
I have a pointer fork that I carried in my backback. At Reagan I got stopped at security and the guard said I couldn't carry a fork on the plane. I told him it was a pointer fork and showed him, but he wasn't amused. So I had to run down to the post office and mail my fork to myself. Stupid security.
Wendi - I'm dreadfully sorry for going radio silent for so long. Shameful, I know. Won't happen again. (maybe) And yeah..random search, my eye! Maybe you should stop being so cute and they'll stop "randomly" picking you. Just a thought. :) And why should names of ethnicity be cause for immediate suspicion? Gah! Don't get me started there.
Warren - Only you (and possibly Jared) would own a pointer fork. In spite of the inconvenience, I'm very glad you were able to retain it by mailing it to yourself. Out of curiosity...do you frequently find yourself taking bites from the plates of someone across the room? Next time I'm eating in your presence, I'll be sure to keep a close watch on my food...lest it go missing.
And can I just say that story about the "stupid security" is unsettling, at best. Yikes! Accidentally smuggling a knife onto an airplane? I don't blame the guy...we're all prone to absent-mindedness, but what about those doing it on purpose. Shudder. Makes ya think.
Jared and I both own the pointer fork AND spoon. Just don't ask us how long it took us to find them.
I haven't used them in a while, maybe I should bring them back into play...
I got my bag searched today because they thought my mini-quad looked suspicious. Then the guy asked me if I thought Mitt Romney would win the election. I think there should be a different line for frequent travelers. That way we wouldn't have to wait behind the people who don't know what they're doing. And, FYI, there's a Cinnabon in the US Airways terminal at DCA. I eat there frequently.
This is great info to know.
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